梅雨时节紫阳开。

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http://levia.blogbus.com/logs/50928690.html

When i was looking at my calendar today at the office, i planned those things to be done all the way till the end of the year. After satisfied my sense of completeness, i realised that none of them could ever really happen in the way i wanted them to.

Is it good or bad when you have nothing to do in a working day. Ultimately I only replied fours emails for the entire day and I spent the rest of the time reading principle of shipping while i was busy like hell yest. So leisure is a tragedy for me, especially in a place i couldnt access to internet nor write on my journal nor listen to my ipod. I spent time thinking about stuff which made me fidgety and being fidgety drag me down to the road so deep that i ultimately lose my concentration to do the real business. No wonder i cant remember pepople's name lately.

I always choose to believe that everyone has their own fascinations, dangerous or not. Mine is to make everything under control, bad habit for leo. Though people appears to be distant and orgulous never fascinates me in the first place, I always fall into a situation when I take control intially and start losing it slowly after. But I just cant get rid of it once I get my button pushed, despite how insecure it makes me feel.

So the question is, how to tread on the middle path without crossing the line and running to extreme? If its so easy, why do people still keep chasing the vanishing ocean and urging it to return? When we choose to do something ought not to be done, do we enjoy doing it or do we enjoy the fact we know we shouldnt? Like people always swear that they will never go drinking again after they are drunk, but next time they will devote themselves to alcohol without hesitation.

So I guess you have taken my existence and love for granted. Even I am surprised by how much I can stand for all this shits. What truely pathetic is, I once still thought I was the one holding the remote control.

Thanks for taking me a ride back to junior high. Shall we move on and get ready to rock the city in Dec?